A POEM BY ALAN SHEARER.

by chrisfaulkner30

It wez one-wa traffic at Aad Trafford,
The forst win will hev te wait,
It wez men against boys,
An it cud hev been seven or aaiyt.

Against Villa it wez time fre revenge,
A dish best served with panache,
Wi gis 110% and were canny good leik,
An off went wor Joey’s tash.

It wez an ill-tempered affair at the Molineux,
A footie game almost broke oot,
Karl Henry’s neet tha type of playor,
So me an Gary laughed when Barton’s leg kept connecting wi his boot.

Some bairn caal’d Ben Arthur scored a screamer at Everton,
I’d nivvor heard of him mesel,
If a Brazilian had scored it we’d be gannin mad leik,
Ah think he’ll dee well.

Tha wez until a player caal’d de Jong,
Literally cut him in horf,
He’s not that type of playor,
But this time ah divvnae laugh.

Coloccini scored a last gasp equaliser against Wigan,
After the baal wez put into the mix,
Ah want curly hair tee,
Instead I’ve got Weetabix.

Howay the Mackem-slayers,
Ah laughed at Petor Reid,
5-1 te the Toon,
An a song te annoy aad tattyheed.

Wor Hughton wez given the axe affta a defeat te West Brom,
One o the greatest mistakes,
The idiot bheend this wez Mike Ashley,
A man who’s eaten tee many steak bakes.

After wor Hughton’s sacking,
Ah wez angry an sad,
Until Carroll scored a screamer against Liverpool,
He’s got canny good feet fre a big lad.

Gareth Bale ran riot against us at the Lane,
He’s a player I adore,
If ernly he wez English,
We’d be betta than the Dutch in 74′.

Stevenage wez always gannin to be a potential banana skin,
but on pyeppor wi had the betta team,
But that’s the magic o the FA Cup,
It was leik a bad dream.

Four doon to Arsenal at half-time,
and it divvnae look good,
But football’s a game of two halves,
An Tiote volleyed it in wi a thud

Stoke’s never an easy place te gan,
Even Messi wouldn’t score,
So it wez ne surprise te me,
Tha the hyem team won bi four.

A game against Villa at the business end o the season,
Who are surely tee good te gan doon ,
They won comfortably,
An affta a loss, it wa a long way hyem .

It’s been an unpredictable season,
An thor’s ne easy games in this league,
The lads hev run thor socks off,
An are noo battling fatigue.

By Alan Shearer.